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And spoons make people fat

by Jeff Simon on April 3rd, 2013
March 19, 2013

Yesterday I placed my shotgun on the front porch, gave it six shells, and noticing it had no legs, placed it in a wheelchair to help it get around. I left it alone and went about my business.

While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the boy across the street picked up my yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign near my house.

After 10 hours, I checked on the shotgun. It was still sitting in the wheelchair. It had not rolled outside and It had not killed anyone in spite of many opportunities that had been presented. It had not even loaded itself.

Can you imagine how surprised I was with all the hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people? Either the media is wrong and the killing is by people misusing guns or I’m in possession of the laziest gun in the world. So now I’m off to check on my spoons, because I hear they make people fat.

Donald K. Martin, Windsor Locks

From → Pithy Politics

4 Comments
  1. Noel permalink

    This guy is a complete idiot. What kind of d-vag leaves a loaded gun laying around for anyone to pick up? What if the boy who picked up his yard had come across it and played with it?

    Sure, guns don’t kill people…morons like Donald K. Martin do! Can his fun license be revoked?

  2. Renee permalink

    Your the idiot Noel what exactly goes through your head when you where saying this. Seriously think before you talk that was the stupidest thing I have ever heard!

  3. Mrs. D permalink

    You are right. Guns do not kill people. However, you’re blatant disregard to secure your weapon is outrageous. Please secure your weapon. If only the mother of the Sandyhook shooting had better kept her weapons safe.

  4. Mrs. D permalink

    Msg for moderator, pls remove the above comments with the name calling. It is offensive.

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