I want my ObamaCar! (not a typo)

I have heard the President Obama is going to solve the crisis of people not having cars! And this affects me, as I need one!

We need to be concerned about all the people that don’t have cars. Just think of all the homeless people that are stuck in one place. And new immigrants walking across the borders need a car too!

In a just society, we should create a plan that helps these poor unfortunates. Here is how this will work:

  1. If you already have a car, you can keep it.
  2. If you already have a mechanic, you can keep him.
  3. The cost of cars for everybody else will go down about $2,500 because the vast increase in production will lower costs.
  4. If you cannot afford a car, you will be provided one for free.

And if there are problems making this work, here are the solutions:

  1. We can no longer afford to have cars that are substandard. So the government will regulate the minimum standards for cars.
  2. In order to get production up, we can no longer have the hundreds and hundreds of models. We just have to reduce the number of car types for efficiency.
  3. Based on the above requirements for efficiency, the government will designate four models that will serve everyone’s need better.
  4. It is suggested that the four models of cars be the two high-end Buicks, a high-end GMC truck, with a top-of-the line “Cadillac” model as well.
  5. Inferior cars are no longer allowed. Everyone will enjoy a $35,000 vehicle at a minimum.
  6. If you are one of the 17 million people that have to replace your car, you will have to buy one of the four acceptable to President Obama. To keep our economic system orderly, the IRS will fine you if you do not replace your car in this way.
  7. The costs of cars is going down $2,500 as promised, but in case it doesn’t the costs of all cars will be raised sufficiently to buy cars for those who cannot afford them.

I am waiting for my ObamaCar. And one other thing: I have also heard the rumor that all ObamaCars will be compatible with my ObamaPhone.

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